Kya item hai !

1

 

Bollywood item songs are assumed to be notorious for sleaze, double meaning lyrics, and for the great budget divide between the set decors and the item girl’s outfit. Little do we know, that these songs have been inspired from age old sayings and famous quotes, and convey much deeper meanings than we give them credit for. Say, these ones for example…

“Fire brigade mangwa de tu, angaaron par hai armaan Ho balma.” (Fire in the heart sends smoke into the head.)

“Dilwalon ke dil ka karar lootne, Main aayi hun U.P., Bihar lootne.” (Not all those who wander are lost.)

“Zara Zara Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me, Zara Zara Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, Zara Zara Hold Me Hold Me Hold Me.” (Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.)

“Yeh duniya, yeh duniya pittal di, Babydoll main sone di.” (Where gold speaks, every tongue is silent.)

“Bachkey tu rehna re Bachkey tu rehna, Nahin duja moka milega sambhalna.” (One must not play on the nose of a sleeping bear.)

“Arey chhod-chhad ke apne Salim ki gali, Anarkali disco chali.” (A rolling stone gathers no moss.)

“My name is Sheila, Sheila ki Jawani, I am too sexy for you, Main tere haath na aani.” (Alas ! The slippery nature of tender youth.)

“Munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye, Le zandu balm hui, darling tere liye.” (To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.)

“Babuji zara dheere chalo, Bijli khadi yahan bijli khadi.” (Look before you ‘leap.’)

“Meri photo ko seene se yaar, chipka le saiyan Fevicol se.” (If your pictures aren’t good enough, you aren’t close enough. )

“Chikni chameli, chhup ke akeli, pawwa chadha ke aayi.” (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.)

“Jaam jab yeh chalakne lagta hai, jo bhi dekhe bhekne lagta hai. Honth rasile tere, Honth rasile.” (There’s many a slip between the cup and the lip.)

“TV pe breaking news haaye re mera ghagra, Baghdad se leke Delhi via Agra.” (You must be the change you wish to see in the world.)

Singing songs

3

 

Have you noticed this thing peculiar,

And probably to our land singular,

That just when a lady passes by walking,

The men burst into a song, watching.

A song laden with fervour and emotion,

Some lyrics golden and a sentiment explosion,

Drawn from the depths of the heart,

With a melody so moving, that tears would part.

 

Sometimes it is an anthem uplifting like “Jalebi Bai,”

Words so sacrosanct, that tongues would tie,

Or a gem like “Chikni Chameli,” if you would be so lucky,

Resonating loudly from a man, proud and plucky,

And just when you thought, these verses could not get more profound,

Now and then, comes a song so magical, and unceasingly jazbaat drowned.

“Blue eyes, hypnotize teri, kardi ai mennu,” somewhere, a man chimes,

“I swear! Chhoti dress mein, bomb lagdi mennu,” in the mother of rhymes.

 

In the midst of this brazen, sing-a-song marathon,

If the lady turns back, with a glaring look drawn,

The crooner nonchalantly drifts his gaze towards the sky,

But keeps the orchestra going, albeit lowering those notes high.

On occasion, there is a walker, brave and fiery,

Who finds it compelling, to forego her poise entirely,

And confront the songster with a “Kyun bey !”

“Bada gayak hai tu, bohat gaana aate hain tujhe !”

Pat comes the retort, “Hum to apne liye ga rahe the, Madam.”

“Aapko kya pareshaani hai, koi gunaah kar rahein hain, kya hum ?”

 

No smouldering look, nor a jeering sarcasm,

Can curb these Mian Tansens’ burgeoning enthusiasm.

How these accomplished talents, do not find place in Indian Idol,

Is a Poirot Mystery, and a crime on the Music Industry, homicidal.

I suggest, that we all be good citizens and break some norms,

And fund a trip for these pratibhashaali men, to such platforms,

Where they could showcase their unique symphonic prowess,  

A gift to a break into a song impromptu, and a rustic flair, without bias.

Or extend them a welcome warm, with bouquets floral,

To grace the pedestal, with some bhajans choral.

For it is imperative, to rescue this genius from attrition,

Nurture it with eager audition and nationwide recognition,

Scout these roadside musicians, on a noble expedition,

And extricate them from every gully and nukkad, in a melodic mission.